I Was a Teenage…Teenager!

     A teenage cave…aahh “person.” Yeah, cave person. It must have been tough being a teenage cave person as in the movie and poster attached to this suggests. You were pretty stupid about your rocky or jungle surroundings. Your world. Didn’t know that movie dinosaurs, giant snakes and giant bugs were everywhere. Quicksand. Strange tribes of semi-monsters in various stages of their evolution roamed. Didn’t understand sex real well. Fire was new and cool. But somehow, as in the movie, still had hairspray and fingernail polish. Is that much different than teenagers today?

Lots of the “I was a Teenage….this or that monster” movies, comics and books. Like a teenage werewolf. Some teenagers are little monsters. Remember the expression “raging hormones?” If you have grown kids. Then you know they were once teenagers. Teenagers are often, generically a real pain in the ass. That’s life. If you have young kids? Gird your loins because a lot might REALLY change around teenage time. Is their hope in all these prehistoric hormones?

I too was a stupid teenager, probably a monster at times, were you? I can’t tell you just how stupid I was. I was also pretty stupid in my twenties too. Maybe I got a bit smarter when I hit about 30 or so, but I still question that. Not sure where I am on the stupid chart today either. I should not have been trusted with what I was trusted with back then, in what was once called by advertisers as the “Wonder Bread” years. (that’s growen’ up years and you needed all the nutrients of white bread to survive).

It always seems like teenagers of every generation demonstrate and even riot. Doesn’t it? Like clockwork. Always something to rant about. Lots of “teenager talk” these days too, huh? Teenagers recently descended upon DC and other cities lately over gun control. It was a liberal hoopla, holiday. Better than Christmas! Never let a tragedy go to waste. Although crowd counters say that the groups were only 20% teenagers. 80% of adults – many of whom always show up with all the required anti-this, anti-that, pro-this-or-that liberal stuff. They are so organized! Buses. Hotels. Placards! All those signs! The news says that the usual, dare I say “suspects,” paid large chunks of money to bankroll it all. These suspects are a wicked little ring of interconnected complainers. A big circle that even includes George Soros and Louis Farrakhan. But who cares, right? Soros. He’s like an unmasked Darth Vader.

Remember the 1968 movie, “Wild in the Streets?” Of course you don’t. But it was about US teenagers voting in a 24 year old president Max Frost. If you are a dipshit hippy this is great news. Also for Bernie Saunders fans because young and old minds of mush, with no math skills or grasp of history have hope. Ahhh, the road to Venezuela.

A rare few of these teenage monsters though became school and church shooters. But this is really rare. I mean REALLY, really rare. Look at the big picture. 340 million Americans. Some 340 million-plus firearms out there. If you believed the media, liberals and these teenagers, we would all be dead by now. Same thing with video games. Yet, we have some 30,000 high schools, some 90,000 elementary schools. Some 6,000 colleges. These places are doing business some 180 days a year. Then think of summer school. It’s more. Some 70 million “kids” are in school. Then add in the years to this equation. Crunch the math, run the numbers and see how unbelievably, incredibly safe American schools and kids are every day. Every year. Then run these same number categories on churches. I think it is hard for teenagers to grasp this safety. It is also hard for under-developed, short-sighted adults to grasp this too. Under-developed?

Apparently John Adams said this first, and it has been altered and re-quoted and requoted and it’s a concept I have grown to believe, give or take a few years of age…

“If You Are Not a Liberal When Young, You Have No Heart. If You Are Not a Conservative When Old, You Have No Brain.”

     But under-developed? It is common knowledge in the brain industry that the human mind if not injured, brainwashed or abused, it is not fully formed/functional until about 25 years of age. TWENTY-FIVE! Not 16, 18, even 21. This accepted science will not manifest over into politics. It’s a conundrum. We vote at 18. Kids go off to war at 18. I think the common military unit is often like a high school football team with guns. We’ll NEVER enforce a 25 year old voting age. Hell, we can’t even define what a citizen is anymore. I can. Common sense can. But then there’s California. Before these amazing, breaking brain discoveries were made, the old adage was that an adulthood/personality/life-path is usually formed at 21. “You are who you were at 21.” But I think now, that old adage needs to adjust to 25 thanks to neuro-science. Then come those haunting words. Injured. Brainwashed. Abused.  I think geographic and demographic brainwashing are the biggest deterrents to smarts, common sense and critical thinking. Then there’s just being a rebel for rebels sake. Its prehistoric! Like clockwork. Like the prehistoric teenage rebels in the movie…

But anyway…
– So cheer up, parents. If you can live through it, some teen-age monsters grow up and out of it.

– So cheer up America. If you can live through it, the teen-age monsters grow up and might think things through.


“I am just an unfrozen, teenage caveman. I don’t understand your cars and machines, your politics, the history of the world, math …”

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